so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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