Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
