i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
