New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
