she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
