How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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