Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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