I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
