Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
