just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
