dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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