Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
