yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
