You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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