...so i touched it.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
