We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Fuck appropriateness.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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