Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
