Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
