if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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