big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
