"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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