I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
