Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
