I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
