no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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