wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
i out mim tonsoeep
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
