I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
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