This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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