brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
