let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
