umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
