it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
