Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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