Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
two words...techno handjob
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
