Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
