i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
