i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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