My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
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