Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
