So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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