shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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