I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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