It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Say something about gay babies.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
