I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Randomize
