Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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