I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
