just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dignity is for republicans.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
