I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
