A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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