Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
