i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
