I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
