suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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